Fifty
by kleannhouse
Summary: What happens in the mind of an adult turning 50yrs old? Do they think normal thoughts or do they have a midlife crisis?
1. Chapter 1

FIFTY

What happens in the mind of an adult turning 50yrs old? Do they think normal thoughts or do they have a midlife crisis? AH/Bookverse

**Disclaimer:** I do not owe the characters portrayed here in this story. They belong to the world of SVM- Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris… I am just playing with them a bit.

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Wow fifty; I turn fifty in less than a week; I will be a half century old … Where has the time flown? I have had a good life. I had a beautiful wife, Felicia and I have three gorgeous kids; Godric, Isabel and Joseph. I have a wonderful job and career. I wouldn't change a thing.

But I have come to regret one thing.

**Sookie**

She was never mine to regret or to have but she touched my heart so many years ago that she has once again been brought to the forefront of my mind. I saw her the other day and I was taken back, she looks the same like she hasn't aged a year, she is two years younger than me, you can see my grays starting to show but I didn't see one on her. All I could think is she must be home because Gran is sick and she needs to be here for her.

**NOT ME **

I was jealous.

Once Sookie left all those years ago she never came back. I know from Jason that after she got her PHD she moved to Texas and never considered coming back. Not even when Jason got married to Michelle which I thought was odd but he accepted it.

Anyway, let me explain I am not having a mid life crisis as my daughter Isabel has claimed, no I am just remembering things that I should have followed through on years ago before I married her mother.

I have my sports car, motorcycle and bachelor life and I am fine with that.

My car is a cherry red corvette which I have had since high school, she is my baby just like my kids; I call her "Pam" and no not after my pretentious snob of a sister Pamela, if you ask Pamela I did it to cause her grief. Actually when I bought the car I looked at her and said "Pam" and it stuck…Go figure…

My motorcycle, I didn't get until after Felicia passed away 15 years ago from ovarian cancer. It was a long struggle during her bout with cancer and Felicia asked me to do something special for myself; she told me to go get the motorcycle I always wanted so I did, I named her "Cleo".

My house is the house I bought with Felicia after we got married and saved up some money to buy our dream home. It was a ranch style home until we added on the upstairs addition for our growing family. After her death I never felt the urge to sell it, it was a part of her that I still had and I was willing to keep that part of her with me so I would stay grounded.

Felicia was my wife, best friend and soul mate. I only strayed on her once and that was before we had become engaged; there is where my one regret lies. I don't regret what happened but I regret not following through with a memory I gleamed after that person walked out of my life forever.

_**Flashback **_

We were kids and we lived in the same parish. We might not have come from the same financial means but it didn't matter we were all friends. We were drawn together for our love of football.

We met our freshman year of school and never parted ways until after college. Well let me say most of us stayed friends, all but one.

It was two months into our school year and a new student arrived. The funny part was she didn't move here, she already lived here but the school board decided since this girl was on genius levels of schooling that they would skip her two grades so that she did not lose her gift of knowledge by being with children below her caliber of thinking. Sookie was a brilliant student; her thirst for knowledge is what led her to be accelerated two grade levels. It embarrassed Jason but it also made him proud.

We were a tight nit group but we brought her into our fold. Jason, Alcide and I were on the football team and the girls were cheerleaders and Sookie just sat on the sidelines to cheer us on. None of us started dating until our junior year; it was more a less just a group of kids hanging out. There were five of us to start (Felicia, Michelle, Jason, Alcide and me) then when Sookie was added into the mix there were six.

In junior year we ended up pairing off only because Jason fell hard for Michelle and I had come to like and admire Felicia. So that left Alcide to pair off with Sookie. We knew they liked one another but never took it too far; they were our fifth wheels so to speak but enjoyed each other company so they never felt like the odd man out. It was our senior year that Alcide asked Sookie to be his girl; she said yes and we assumed they would be together just like the rest of us. It was a secret they shared but no one ever suspected anything. We would find out later that it was all a ruse but not until we graduated from college.

Our senior year of school we had all set down to discuss college. We wanted to be together so that our college life would be memorable and unchanged from our high school years. So we started looking for a college that we could all attend together. We first searched Louisiana but didn't find a college that met all of our needs. Sookie was the hold out; she knew where she wanted to go since she was a freshman. It was the best school for her degree until she went forward for her Masters and PHD. So we all looked into her school, Perdue University in Indiana. Felicia and Michelle agreed it would be a great adventure to get out of Louisiana so they found that Perdue offered a major in their chosen field of study, Art History. Jason chose Athletics, Alcide chose Civil Engineering and I went for a dual major, Criminal Justice/ Law & Society. As for our little Sookie, her major was Biotechnology.

Senior year we had a great time. I know for a fact Jason and I lost our virginity to our girls but Alcide never said a word. He was very tight lipped about his and Sookie's relationship and we respected that. Plus Jason said he couldn't bear to hear about their sexual exploits since she was his baby sister and all… We were all accepted to Perdue and all of us had received scholarships. We three guys got in with football scholarship and the girls were there through cheerleading… It was funny that Sookie was the only one of us to get a FULL ride for her four years for academics, she was our valedictorian at school and we were all proud of her.

As we got ready for college there was a bit of a shift in our dynamics but it wasn't noticeable unless you looked real hard.

I caught on our junior year in college, but didn't say anything.

We were all still paired off as couples which helped us through the tough years at college. We all shared a rented house except for Sookie she lived on campus in a dorm, she still spent time at the house but she didn't live there, she was there for school and that was her priority. Alcide accepted this and did not feel the need for her to be with him all the time so they actually got along a lot better than most couples including Jason, Michelle, Felicia and Me. Living in the same house caused a few rifts but we got through them.

It was at the end of our senior year when I became aware of why Sookie and Alcide didn't talk much about sex; you only saw them kiss delicately on each other's cheek and hold hands.

Alcide and I got drunk the last week of school as finals were winding down and it was a week before graduation for all six of us. It was then that he confessed his secret that Sookie had known all along, that he was gay and hiding it. She helped him find himself and did not judge him; he was hoping to hell Jason and I didn't either. He told me that Sookie was going to tell Jason and he was to tell me. It was the shift I felt many years ago, I should have realized it and saw it but I was too involved in my own world… He also told me that Sookie does love him as her best friend but she is in love with another and has been for some time but it was she that would have to say who that was. Since she held his secrets, he was holding hers.

I thought it was a sweet gesture and I racked my brain to figure out when Sookie had the time to date someone else or meet someone else to fall in love. I suspected one of her professors but I didn't want to think that was who it was. I would let her tell me if she felt I was worthy. She talked to me more than the others even Jason but she never shared her secrets and I was okay with that.

It was after graduation and we were throwing a party at our house that I found out who Sookie was in love with and for how long.

Sook asked me if she could talk to me a minute so I looked around for Felicia to tell her I was going to go into our room with Sookie so that she could talk to me privately however when I found her she was passed out on the couch with Michelle.

Sookie then pulled me aside to let me know about her secret, she was a little drunk so I think the liquid courage is why she told me otherwise I think she would have held this secret to her grave.

She was extremely nervous and just blurted it out; she had been in love with me since our freshman year in high school and then kissed me with all of her might and passion. She tried to run away after she finished but I pulled her back and looked into her eyes, they sparkled with a lust and want I have never seen before. She was alive and a force of nature but ashamed with what she wanted and for what she said; it hurt me to my very core that she was embarrassed by her feelings.

What I did next shocked me to my very soul. I never gave Sookie much thought expect that she was the girlfriend of my friend and sister to my best friend.

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her, I kissed her with all the want and need I have to give. I had never felt this alive when I kissed Felicia who I knew I loved but at the moment that did not matter. What mattered was Sookie and I needed her, I needed her more than I ever needed anyone. She was like a star that was shooting through my life at the moment and I needed to grab onto her and hold tight before she disappeared.

I knew she was leaving tomorrow to go to John Hopkins in Delaware to finish her studies, she had received another full ride for her Masters and PHD at the elite school and I was proud of her but at the moment I just needed her.

So I asked for permission from her for what I wanted. She acknowledged for me to proceed with a nod back to me that she wanted it too. I made sure numerous times before I proceeded, I knew she had been drinking and I wanted to make sure she would not regret this.

Her only response, Eric please I need you…. Please.

So I glided her gently to my bed and offered myself to her. Yes I was cheating on Felicia but at the moment I didn't care, I just needed this fiery spirit in front of me.

I took my time. I prepared her in every way to take me… I didn't know until I was balls deep inside of her that I was her first and she cried out in pleasure and pain. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming to know I was her first….. But the lust on her face spurned me on to make love to Sookie... She didn't need to be fucked but cherished and loved and that is what we shared.

It wasn't until the end that I realized I wasn't protected and I only assumed Sookie was, I never asked her and I was too embarrassed to let her know that I had had unprotected sex with her... I got a wash cloth and cleaned her and myself up. It was then I noticed all the blood from her being a virgin. I asked her if she was okay and she said never better. She asked if it was okay if we snuggled for a while and I told her sure.

I had only ever slept or had sex with one person and now it was two but I was not ashamed and I knew I needed to tell Felicia, but having made love to Sookie felt right… There was nothing wrong with what I just did. I would worry about the consequences tomorrow. For now I had a beautiful girl in my arms to cherish and love for a very short time.

I had fallen asleep with Sookie snuggled into my chest, she fit just right, but when I woke it was Felicia who was next to me.

When the hell did that change?

Did I dream the sex with Sookie?

Was it something I wanted and fantasized about? NO it was very real and I knew it.

It was confirmed when I went into the bathroom and found the bloodied wash cloth…. I knew I had to tell Felicia but I figured today was not the day.

As I got cleaned up I made the decision to speak to Sookie before she left…. I needed to make sure we were still okay as friends. I went to Alcide's room and knocked on the door, I knew he was an early riser even when we drank and he told me to come on in. I expected to see Sookie with him but he was alone.

Before I could ask anything he told me he knew what happened. He said that Sookie was trying to sneak out of my room last night but he caught her and brought her into his room to talk. She told him everything about what she said and what happened between us. She told Alcide that she knew it was wrong to want me so damn much but she needed me to know she loved me and she didn't want to be a virgin for the rest of her life and she knew I loved her as a friend so it made complete sense to her. She would never regret it as she hoped I would not regret it either.

I told Alcide I would never regret it. Yes I cheated on Felicia and it was wrong but everything that had happened last night was perfect and meant to be. I would cherish the memory.

Alcide told me he would keep my secret as long I kept his and he hoped when he came out to the world I would be beside him as a friend when he did.

I asked him where Sook was and he said she already left. She was showering when he woke up and she asked for him to tell everyone goodbye and she would miss them.

I was a bit shocked that she left so early, I thought Jason said she was leaving this afternoon… I asked Alcide what was up with that and he said, man, she couldn't face you today and she didn't want to hurt Felicia so she felt the best thing was just to disappear into the morning and no one would be the wiser.

I was pissed. I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her I wanted her in my life still. Even though I was with Felicia I needed her too. I knew that feeling this way was wrong but I didn't care. I would figure it out.

I felt abandoned by her; but I didn't feel used.

I knew I was loved and I gave her a gift no one else could. Her first sex partner was with someone who cared and respected her and that would be special for both off us for the rest of our lives.

Alcide let me know that he would tell her when she called that I wanted to talk to her but he suggested it be when she was ready. So I told him I would wait.

Well that talk never came.

We all left and went back home. We remained friends and adjusted our lives to meet the grueling days of our new jobs and lives. We all remained friends except for Sookie; I found out years later that she still spoke to Alcide but never wanted to speak to the rest of us, she said we had our lives and she was no longer a part of it and she felt that if she tried to get back into our lives it would mess everything up.

I didn't understand it but I allowed it. What else was I suppose to do.

It was rather odd to me when Sookie didn't even attend Jason and Michelle's wedding two years later. Jas just said she was busy with work and her family and couldn't get away. It was the first I ever heard of a family so I pressed on but Jason just told me to drop it.

I let it drop, but when I saw Gran at the wedding I asked her. She told me Sookie had finished school and had two beautiful baby twin boys named Jackson and Jake; she lived outside Dallas and had a great job at a research facility; she visited them frequently as it was tough for Sookie to get away from her job. She was engaged to be married to a man named Preston Pardloe but she didn't think it would get as far as a wedding. Preston was upset because the boys were not his and she would not tell him who their father was; she told him it was none of his business just an old friend and to leave it at that.

I never asked their age; it never occurred to me that they could be mine. We had only slept together once and what were the odds on a one time fling producing twin boys. Gran didn't press on as Alcide approached.

I asked him later if he knew of Sookie boys and all he said was yes. She named one after his dad because he would never have children and the other ones name was because she liked the name. He elaborated that he was the godfather to both of the boys. Another secret he held for her. I was truly amazed at how close these two were and what secrets they kept for one another.

No matter, I had a life and she didn't want to be a part of it. I would have our memory of our time and I moved on.

It was a couple of weeks later that I told Felicia we needed to talk. She was visibly upset but she said okay. I sat her down in the living room and told her I loved her and wanted to ask for her hand in marriage but I needed her to know of a secret that I had been keeping and if it was a deal breaker to marriage I would understand.

I told her that I had cheated on her during college and it was a onetime thing, that I never saw the girl again after that night. I never told her Sookie's name, I didn't think it would matter one way or another and she didn't ask. She told me she was mad but she understood, we were not engaged at the time that we were in college and living the college experience she would let this one time slide but if it ever happened again she would end our relationship in a heartbeat.

I was in awe of this woman that I loved. She accepted me for all of my faults and there were many.

We were married the following year and Godric came a year later, then Isabel and finally Joseph six years later.

It was after Joseph was born that they found cancer on her ovaries but had removed it and with chemo treatments she was in remission.

We were hopeful and had a great life.

Life went on; I was made Chief of Police about eight years into my job. I love being a cop and it gave me the time to be with my family and have family moments. But when Felicia got sick it rocked me to my core. I didn't know if I would make it through, the kids were still young and I had the support of my friends and family but I was losing my best friend. Felicia became very ill when our oldest turned nine years old; it was a very rough time for him and he blamed Joseph for his mom getting sick… Godric always told everyone if Joseph wasn't born his mom would still be alive. He couldn't understand that it was because of Joseph they found the cancer to begin with.

It took Felicia sitting down with Godric and telling him that it was no one's fault that she became ill. It was her time to go and she was accepting of it. That she was put on this earth to love their father, her husband and to have their three children whom she loved very much and will miss when she is gone. However when he felt sad and needed to talk all he had to do was sit on his bed and talk to her and she would be sitting by his side to listen.

Like I said she was my rock and I will miss that.

It was a year later almost to the day of her explanation to Godric that the cancer took her away from me and the kids. I now had to be their rock since she was gone.

The new chapter of our life started without her.

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Author's Note

sorry about a new story but this one would not leave me alone. I will post a new chapter when i can. I am working on IDCT but the chapter has been a bear for me... It it at 7000+ words and i am not finished revising it yet. I will post as soon as i can my best KY


	2. Awakenings

**This story wont leave me alone so until i can force it to stop i will keep posting... It is unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine... Enjoy Kristie **

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**Chapter 2- Awakening**

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My family and friends let me wallow in grief for two months and then told me I had to snap out of it. The kids needed me and I needed to move forward.

I knew it but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Of all the people to snap me out of it was Gran. She was a rock for a lot of people in town; she pulled me aside one Sunday after morning church services and told me to bring the kids by tonight for Sunday supper and a talk. I knew I was no good to anyone in the shape that I was in, I thought a change of scenery would be good for the kids, especially Godric; he was taking Felicia's death harder than Isabel or Joseph. Joseph was too little to understand his mommy wasn't coming back and as long as he kept busy he didn't dwell, Isabel on the other hand was like her mom, steady and sure, a miniature version of Felicia.

We arrived at Gran's about 5pm for 5:30pm supper. The kids were enjoying the property, the old farmhouse was out in the country and it offered a lot of room to run. So I told the kids to have fun outside while Gran and I spoke.

Gran sat me down in the kitchen and spoke softly to me about loss. She had known her own share of loss, losing her husband, son and daughter too early. She told me to think of the good and beautiful times that we shared and what came about that time.

I looked at her with my head titled to the side and told her it hurt to think about those times because Felicia was no longer in my life.

She then told me that Felicia will always be in my life, she is in my heart and she is in our three children. If I give into heartache, I would wither away and the children would not only have lost their mom but their father as well. That I needed to pick my head up and hold it high and carry on. It is what Felecia would want me to do. She wouldn't want me to give into grief and loose myself. She would want me to enjoy life and what it has to offer, she would want me to carry on with my job since the town needed me just as much as my children…

I just looked at her astounded by what she was saying, I knew she was right but I just didn't think I had it in me. She said you do have it in you, we all do… Then she mentioned Sookie. She said that Sookie found it in herself to raise her two boys alone and without their father. That her children gave her the strength to raise them alone and perform her job with grace and ease. I wasn't in the same situation as Sookie but my life needed to be about my children. If I was to find the peace I needed, I first needed to find peace in myself and move on.

There is was the switch in my mind that I needed. I was not going to lose myself in grief because the kids needed me especially Godric. I thanked Gran for the talk and called the kids in to clean up for supper, we were running about fifteen minutes behind schedule but Gran said not to worry. This talk was not only for me but for them… If they could enjoy the outdoors and forget about their grief then it was a good thing.

I was in the bathroom with Joseph and I heard Godric ask Gran who the two boys in the picture were? She said that is Jackson and Jake, her great grandbabies. He said they look an awful lot like my daddy. I was floored.

I needed to see this picture.

Could it be?

Were they mine?

No they couldn't be, I was only with Sookie once, I needed to know.

I knew if they were mine, Sookie would have told me years ago. Wouldn't she?

Plus Alcide would have said something, wouldn't he?

I walked out with Joseph in tow and asked Godric what picture he asked Gran about. He pointed to the one on the mantle. I picked it up and looked at it. I really didn't see it. They had the same hair color as me and their eye color was the same but Sookie and I shared that same trait, we always laughed about it when we were in high school and got to calling each other brother and sister.

I asked Gran about the picture and she said the picture was taken when the boys were six years old. They were in the backyard at Sookie's home in Dallas. She had more updated pictures but they were in her bedroom if I wanted to see them… I was curious as to what Sookie looked like standing with the boys but I didn't press the subject… I asked Gran their names.

She replied, Jackson Herveaux Stackhouse and Jake Herveaux Stackhouse.

So it was true they were Alcide's; all these years he said that he wasn't their father when in actuality he was. I was going to ask him about it the next time I spoke to him…

We had a great time at Gran's and stayed till about 7pm. I could see Gran was tiring and the kids had to get ready for bed since they had school in the morning. Gran let us know that we were always welcome out to her home and she let Godric know if he ever needed to talk she was there for him.

Things got better after my talk with Gran, things fell into place and the years started to pass. I did speak with Alcide about Sookie's boys though. He wouldn't tell me who their father was but he said that it wasn't him.

He told me he asked Sookie to move home but she said her place was in Dallas and she didn't want to mess up anyone's life. I wasn't too sure whom she was talking about but I would have welcomed her home with open arms. I missed her and I needed a friend after Felicia's death.

Alcide also let me know that the reason the boys were named after him was so that he could have a little bit of a legacy and to appease his dad on the gay issue.

He said he asked Sookie to marry him and they could make it work but she told him that all it would be doing is causing a rift that they couldn't mend. She would not cheat on him to have a sex life and she would not want him to do it either. Her boys were better off with Uncle Alcide than no-one at all.

However, he did add that the boy's real father is named on their birth certificates so that if there was ever any questions or issues the boys would know whom to talk to.

For some odd reason I felt ecstatic at the fact that Alcide wasn't their father.

I knew I wasn't since she never told me but that doesn't mean I wasn't still curious as to who was; but it wasn't my place to seek her out to find out. If she ever came back into my life I would ask and hopefully she would reply with an honest answer, not like she did with that guy she was once engaged to where she replied that it was none of his business.

A few more years slipped by, life was good. I went out on an occasional date but never got into a serious relationship. I didn't think any of the woman I dated or had sex with were worthy of being in the presence of my kids. Plus I did not have the time or energy to put 100% into a new relationship.

I was happy with what I had.

Isabel was the one to always ask if I was happy not having a lady friend in my life. I told her I was happy and no one could replace her mom.

Then the thought of Sookie would pop back into my head as her being the only woman I would consider as a replacement in my heart for Felicia. I do not know what Sookie did to me to bewitch me in the way she did but there have only ever been two women in my life that I would consider marrying…

One was dead and the other was lost to me in Dallas.

I never thought much about what I felt for Sookie, it wasn't LOVE but I knew it was damn close and the special moment we shared before she went to John Hopkins solidified it for me. I always liked her and she was sweet but that night something changed and she held a part of my heart not even Felicia had.

Call me an ass, call me arrogant but something changed that night between us and I would have loved to explore it, but she ran off. Maybe it was good she did, I would not have known how to choose between her and Felicia. I would have been torn and I would have ruined two lives.

The twelve year mark passed of Felicia's death and I was still a bachelor, I was still sheriff and I was enjoying my kids. Godric and Isabel were away at college and Joseph was in the eleventh grade, my life was full and I was enjoying what I had.

Until, I found a box on the shelf in my closet with the cards and well wishes from Felicia's funeral, I had forgotten it was even tucked away. I sat down on the bed and started reading what people had sent in the form of condolences. I never paid much mind to them when it happened, I knew I was in a fog but I don't remember boxing them up for a later date to read.

I guess it was time for me to find them and to read them; maybe it was Felicia guiding me to them, I don't know but I was sitting in the middle of the bed with the cards spread out about me. Picking each one up and reading them, there was so many but one stood out, it was from Sookie.

I was thrown but what it said… the sentiment, the words and that she was actually at the funeral, why didn't I see her?

_**Eric **_

_**I am sorry to hear about your loss. Felicia and you were always a friend to me and **_

_**I wish I would have been able to be there for her in her time of need and for you at your time of loss, but forces beyond my control kept me away.**_

_** I have wanted to see you for some time now but I have been afraid to approach you. I was afraid to let you back in my life, I never stopped loving you but when I saw for myself the devastation you were going through at the funeral I knew not to approach you, it was not my time.**_

_**You needed to be strong for your children and I knew that my presence would have been misconstrued by many. **_

_**So I chose once again to walk away. Know this, you have and will always have my heart, there has never been another. **_

_**I have come close but I backed out at the last minute because I couldn't go through with a lie; I couldn't marry a man to give my boys a live in father, they have a father and one day he will know them but now is not the time.**_

_** Stay safe my love and know that you are always in my heart and at the forefront of my mind. **_

_**I am praying for your heart to mend and in time it will.**_

_**We love you.**_

_**Sookie, Jackson and Jake**_

I was crying like a baby curled up on the bed and that is how Joseph found me when he got home from school that night. He saw all the cards and didn't know what to do, he knew what they were but he didn't notice I was clutching one to my heart. I don't think he would have understood that I wasn't crying for his mother but I was crying because I could have had a chance with my only regret. He panicked and called Alcide since his brother and sister were at school. Alcide told him to call Jason too and he would be there as quick as he could.

Alcide was the first to arrive because Jason was in the middle of a game. He asked Joseph to leave us alone for a few minutes so that he could see what the problem was and if his dad needed our support.

Joseph said he would wait but he wanted answers since he never saw his father break down like this before.

Alcide climbed up onto the bed and placed my head gently in his lap. He stroked my hair and let me cry.

I know Alcide is gay and I didn't care but it was a comfort to see this be oaf of a guy being so gentle and caring with me; It warmed my heart that I had a friend like this and I hope that one day I could return the favor.

About ten minutes went by and he asked why I took the cards down to read them? He said he boxed them up for me years ago and figured I would have taken them down prior to now, possibly even thrown them out.

I told him I forgot the box was there but for some reason I was drawn to the box today, it was the anniversary of Felicia funeral, twelve years prior on this very day.

I took the day off to remember her and to go by the graveyard to pay my respects, but instead I was drawn to the damn box and I found this. It was then that he noticed I had something clutched to my chest.

He asked me if he could see and I handed to him.

All I heard was **OH** when he opened it up. Then I heard**, FUCK**… So he must be reading her words.

I decided I needed to man up and get over it… It was in the past and I was sure she didn't feel the same way twelve years later, I had lost another opportunity.

I told him I would be right back and went to clean up before Jason got here. I didn't want him knowing about his sister and me, I still felt guilty after all these years not telling him and I figured now was not the time.

When I came back in I asked Alcide to give me the card and he told me it wasn't a good idea. That I missed the opportunity to be with her and I should let dead dogs lie. I knew he was right but I needed to keep her card; it was the only thing I had from her that let me remember that she loved me once.

He handed it over but told me not to show it to Jason who had just came in the front door a moment earlier. I quickly put the card in my night stand and turned around as Jas walked in the door.

He looked at the bed and then looked at me and said AH HELL; he remembered what the day was. He said come on lets go, Boys night out, get your shit together and will go up to the bar and grill and remember her together while we drank ourselves in oblivion. He spoke with Joseph quietly and then he called Michelle, she said she understood she would swing by and get Joseph, he could just stay the night over at their house; I would be in no shape to take care of him tonight or tomorrow morning.

She was right; we ended up calling my deputy Kenya to come take us home… The three of us were not in any shape to drive…..

I told Alcide a few days later not to mention the card or Sookie to me that we should drop the subject of her in my future. I would always remember what she said but after 12 years how could she possible love me still. He just shook his head… I thought I heard him say, "If you only knew" but I wasn't too sure so I dropped it.

Another two years passed and my life was starting to even out. I got over the card but looked at it often. It warmed my heart to read it and it didn't tear me up like it did at the beginning.

I thought of Sookie often enough to wonder what she looked like now. I heard from Jason that Gran was ill and I wanted to help her out but Jas said family was coming to do that, no need for me to worry. It never occurred to me it would be Sookie and hers sons.

Isabel was always on my ass when she was home about my 50th birthday coming up soon. She wondered if I was going to go through a mid life crisis like so many other dads and I told her no I was good. I already had what I needed and bought what I wanted and since she and her brothers were all away at college now there was no need to have a crisis because I was doing exactly what I wanted to do.

The kids were home for the weekend to help me celebrate before my actual birthday.

Joseph asked me if I believe in doppelgangers. I told him yeah I think there is someone out there that looks like you but you would probably never see or meet them. Then Godric asked me if it was possible that there were two such people out there. I told him not a chance in hell and to be in the same town it was unthinkable. Unless they were born as twins or triplets it would never occur.

I was curious why they brought it up but they didn't press the subject.

I told the kids we would go out to celebrate on Saturday night but I had to put in a half day first at the office, just because I was sheriff didn't mean I could take off all the time. The kids all said they were going to go into town get some ice cream maybe go see a movie and they would be home later.

I waved goodbye and just lounged around home, Alcide called and asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink and I told him no, I was just going to stay in since I needed to be at the station in the morning. He just huffed and said okay, he sounded upset but I couldn't figure out why. I asked him if he was okay and he said yeah, he just wanted to talk to me about something but it could wait.

Not thinking much about it we said our goodnights and I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up when I heard the kids come in; it was a little before 1am. I asked them if they had a good time; they said yeah that they spoke to my doppelgangers and they seemed like nice guys. They hung out with them for the rest of the night. I never bothered to ask their names I figured they would tell me later. I told them I would see them this afternoon and this evening they could pick the restaurant for my birthday dinner.

It was a beautiful outside when I woke up and got myself ready for my day.

I strolled into the office and Kenya greeted me, she asked me if I heard the news that Sookie was back in town to take care of Gran? I told her no I hadn't, that I knew family was coming to take care of Gran but I figured it was Hadley. She said that Sookie brought her boys with her too and they were the talk of the town gossip this morning.

Go figure Arlene Fowler would stick her nose in places they don't belong.

I told her I didn't want to hear what venom Arlene was spitting out of her mouth and to get back to work.

A little while later I decided to take a drive. It was around 10am and I figure I needed to make sure the town was quiet as usual and take a run to the bank. I could use my credit card tonight for dinner but I so much liked having cash on me just in case something unforeseeable happened.

I was driving around minding my own business and noticed a car I didn't know parked in front of the Grab N Go, I figured it might be my doppelgangers so I was going to go down to the end of the street and then make a U turn to check it out. I would not be a good sheriff if I didn't know what was going on in my town.

I took my time no need to speed or rush it. I could see from where I was that someone walked out of the Grab N Go and got in the driver's seat but was waiting for someone else to come out. By that time I was making my U-Turn and wasn't paying attention to who climbed in the passenger seat. I knew I would catch up to them at the light so I was patient, it was my job to respect the law and enforce it so I had to make sure I also paid attention to it and abided by it.

I pulled up to the side of the car. That's when I noticed it was a blonde woman in the passenger seat.

I then realized who it was, it was **MY Sookie**… My heart stopped and I didn't know what to do, she looked beautiful. I don't even know if she noticed me because the car had left when the light turned green and I just sat there in shock. She looks the same like she hasn't aged a year. I knew she was home to take care of Gran but all that kept running through my mind was "she must be home because Gran is sick and she needs to be here for her. She wasn't here for me."

**NOT ME **

I was jealous.

Jealousy is an ugly beast when you don't have control over it. I floored the cruiser to go searching for the sedan, there couldn't be many places for her to hide, we were a small town but I knew if I didn't find her, I could always run out to Gran's and say I was checking up on her. That sounds plausible.

It was then that I noticed the sedan parked at the bank. Even better. I could go in for my money and check to see if Sookie was there. She would be none the wiser since I needed to get cash out anyway.

I walked into the Bank and noticed everyone turned to look my way. I felt like I was being watched by everyone.

Why?

Then I saw why, my doppelgangers were standing to the side by the branch mangers desk. Damn they do look like me…. Fuck they are me… All I could think of was I am going to kill her, she has some explaining to do.

You know the song by Heart, "_All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You_"; well its replaying in my head over and over again as I approach **MY BOYS**. It takes everything I have in me not to sing it out loud…. Damn I'm fucked.

I walked up to them to introduce myself.

They both nodded at me when I approached. I went to say my name and they both said in unison, "No need to introduce yourself we know who you are "SIR". We are pleased to finally meet you."

SIR?

I just looked at them in awe, I reached out and touched their faces, they were me when I was younger, if I had to age them they had just turned 28 years old. They were my spitting image… I was dumbfounded but pleased… I was mad but excited… What a hell of a birthday present, twins…. Fuck I was going to kill her for not telling me. I was ecstatic Sookie and I shared a link….. But I was pissed that everyone and I mean everyone hid this from me.

I started naming off in my head who was in on this, who could have known. Alcide, Jason, Michelle, Gran and Sookie.

Who else knew?

FUCK

As I was contemplating everyone's death, I heard a gasp to the side of me.

"Fuck a Duck"

With that I started laughing… Sookie could never swear properly, she was too sweet and gentle but I was still mad at her.

As she approached me all I could say was "You have some explaining to do WOMAN and NOW."


End file.
